Miss Manners: Was my gift to her tacky? Or was her response tacky? - Beritaja

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it considered tacky to springiness an acquaintance a handmade gift?

My girl and I are some crafters, and we gave a hand-thrown mug and a quilted “mug rug” to a communal acquaintance whose business we some patronize.

We assumed she would usage The items. But The adjacent clip I went into her store, our gifts were connected a shelf, disposable for sale.

Am I off-base to deliberation this was an insult? It seems incorrect to judge a gift and past beryllium truthful evident astir getting free of it. Or were we in The incorrect for assuming a personification would for illustration handcrafted items?

GENTLE READER: Handmade gifts are much thoughtful than store-bought ones, but that is not The mobility you should beryllium asking, arsenic nary well-intentioned gift would warrant an insulting response.

Should you return offense? Miss Manners is inclined to deliberation not — that The reproach was accidental alternatively than intentional. But she would deliberation doubly earlier bestowing presents connected this entrepreneur again.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My hubby and I hosted an unfastened house-style party. We offered a buffet pinch a assortment of hors d’oeuvres, positive achromatic and reddish wines.

Before The party, we group up galore mini tables astir our surviving room to guarantee that guests would person a spot to group their plates and wineglasses.

On each these small tables, positive connected The java table, I group retired galore coasters to protect The furnishings finish. The coasters were generously sized, easy to usage and, I thought, rather obvious.

Our guests were mostly from my husband’s chess club. Much arsenic I bask my husband’s friends, not a azygous 1 of them made usage of The coasters I had group out. They almost seemed to beryllium trying to debar utilizing The coasters.

My hubby besides ignored (or avoided) The coaster adjacent his ain seat, truthful he wasn’t very adjuvant in mounting an example.

All The guests seemed to beryllium having a bully time, which allowed maine to sneak astir putting wineglasses connected coasters while The guests were distracted by conversation, vino and bully food. Not ideal, positive this strategy required a batch of monitoring and repetition.

Next time, I will inquire my hubby to please effort to group a amended illustration for his friends, but assuming The disregard of coasters persists, is location immoderate polite measurement to get our guests to usage them?

GENTLE READER: The extremity of a bully hostess is to make guests consciousness welcome, which is difficult to do while implicitly suggesting they are ruining your furniture.

Hard, but not impossible. You will beryllium circulating to be to your guests’ needs anyway, truthful insert The coaster erstwhile asking if they would for illustration a refill.

But Miss Manners wonders if location is not a measurement to debar The problem entirely, arsenic you are in power of The furnishings (if not your husband). Would it not beryllium imaginable to relocate The java array for The magnitude of The statement and screen The impermanent tables?

Please nonstop your questions to Miss Manners astatine her website,; to her email,; aliases done postal message to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

Editor: Naga

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