Harriette Cole: I want the ring. How can I make him understand? - Beritaja

DEAR HARRIETTE: I americium in a three-year narration pinch my boyfriend, and things person been going well.

Recently, he expressed a desire for america to return our narration to The adjacent level and move in together. While I attraction for him and Can spot a early together, I americium hesitant astir moving in earlier we are engaged. This hesitation is rooted in my belief beliefs, which stress The sanctity of marriage.

I’ve shared my position pinch him, explaining that I would consciousness much comfortable cohabiting if we were engaged first. However, he seems disappointed and doesn’t afloat understand my reservations.

I don’t want to strain our relationship, but I besides want to enactment existent to my values. How Can I navigate this business and pass The value of my beliefs without causing tension?

I attraction astir him a lot, but I want to guarantee that we are connected The aforesaid page regarding The timing and committedness of awesome narration milestones.

— Values in Question

DEAR VALUES IN QUESTION: Now is simply a cleanable clip for you 2 to talk astir The early much specifically than you person frankincense far.

Be unfastened and clear astir your belief views and what they mean to you. Describe really you envision your life 5 years from now, 10 years, and truthful on.

Acknowledge that you cognize that galore group take to unrecorded together arsenic they build their relationships, but you do not want to do that.

Tell him that adjacent steps for you see readying your life together. If he is superior astir being pinch you, what does he want?

Rather than considering this speech arsenic a root of tension, propose that it is an opportunity for you to deliberation earnestly astir The future.

At The three-year mark, you should person a consciousness of whether you want to perpetrate to being pinch this person. Talk it out. Determine if you stock capable values to beryllium capable to spell The distance. If so, instrumentality by your desire to beryllium engaged earlier moving in. If not, move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I person a bully friend who is getting up in age, and I person noticed that her representation isn’t very bully anymore. She knows it, too, which I conjecture is good.

I want to beryllium capable to support her erstwhile we are talking, but I’m not rather judge what to do. I don’t want to reproach her by reminding her of things excessively often, but I consciousness for illustration it could moreover beryllium adjuvant for maine to place myself sometimes truthful she doesn’t person to hunt her encephalon for my name.

How Can I beryllium supportive during this difficult time?

— Memory Loss

DEAR MEMORY LOSS: Since your friend knows she is suffering from representation loss, you Can show her that you want to thief in immoderate measurement that you can. Ask her what would thief The most.

Definitely place yourself each clip you call. Just opportunity your name, thing like, “Hi. It’s Harriette calling.” That measurement she doesn’t person to guess.

Send her texts aft you talk aliases sojourn pinch each different pinch reminders of things you discussed aliases agreed to do. Remind her of stories that you person shared, and effort not to get disappointment if she doesn’t callback them.

Harriette Cole is simply a lifestylist and laminitis of DREAMLEAPERS, an inaugural to thief group entree and activate their dreams. You Can nonstop questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com aliases c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.